The Sacrament of Marriage at St. Margaret of Scotland
St. Margaret of Scotland Parish extends our congratulations on your engagement. We are blessed to have the opportunity to assist you during this sacred time of your life as you prepare to celebrate the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
Undoubtedly, you have many questions concerning your wedding arrangements. We know that both of you will take an active part in planning the liturgy of your wedding ceremony. Even more important than the preparations for your wedding day, are the preparations for your marriage. Your wedding day is precisely that – a day; your marriage, however, is a lifetime! When you commit yourselves to each other in Christian Marriage, in accordance with the laws of the Church, you administer a sacrament to each other. Marriage enables you to be a source of Divine Love, flowing from your love for each other and into the lives of your family. The sacred words and gestures of your wedding are the beginning of a great ministry of life- giving love, based on the Gospel, and dependent on the power of God’s grace at work within you to live your Sacrament always.
May this time of preparation for marriage be one of deepening love and understanding in your relationship with each other and with God. It is our hope that the following information will be helpful in preparing for the celebration of your life together in Christ.
All couples wishing to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage in the Diocese of Wilmington should be registered in the parish and begin the marriage preparations at least 6 months prior to the wedding date.
Church and Civil Requirements
Priest or Deacon:The couple is free to choose the parish priest or deacon of their liking to perform the wedding. Priests and deacons outside the parish are welcome, especially if they are if they have been close to you and your family. Permission is needed and usually given by the pastor for a priest or deacon outside of the parish to officiate at the wedding. Ordinarily, the officiating priest or deacon is responsible for all necessary paperwork. Let the parish priest know if he cannot process the paperwork and arrangements can be made to get that done.
Pre-Nuptial Investigation: The Pre-Nuptial investigation is completed by the priest or deacon preparing you for marriage. It consists of an interview and the obtaining of “witness testimony” by someone who can testify to your readiness to enter into the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. The Catholic Church law has requirements that must be met before any wedding is valid and lawful. These requirements are designed to protect the high value that the Church has for Christian marriage. During the face-to-face interview as a couple with the priest, you will get to know him, and vice versa as well as review all the preparatory details for a Catholic wedding.
Witness Testimony: As part of the preparation process, the priest will ask you to provide two written declarations by two different witnesses that you are free to marry your intended spouse. The priest will give you forms to use for this purpose. The witnesses should be members of your immediate family or other persons who have known you well through your adult years. The witnesses need not be Catholic. The declaration is signed by the witness and needs to be attested to by a Catholic priest/deacon at any convenient rectory location.
In addition, two official witnesses at the wedding ceremony (best man and maid/matron of honor) are required for a valid celebration of Christian marriage. They also sign the civil license at the Church on the day of the wedding. The witnesses are required by the State of Delaware to be at least 18 years of age.
Baptismal Certificates: If you are a baptized Catholic, you should contact the parish where you were baptized and ask for a certification of your Baptism that is dated no more than six months before your planned wedding. That parish will be familiar with this sort of request and should be able to send you the document within a couple of days. If you are a baptized Christian, contact the church where you were baptized for a letter to testify that you were baptized. When you receive the certification, forward it promptly to the priest who is preparing you for your wedding.
Pre-Cana Program: In addition to your preparation with the priest, the Diocese of Wilmington requires all couples preparing for marriage to attend a Pre-Cana preparation program. The Diocese offers an excellent educational component, Life Skills for Couples, for the marriage preparation course. Life Skills for Couples is specifically designed to introduce you to the rich and engaging teachings of the Catholic faith and the Sacrament of Matrimony. Throughout this process, you will gain insight into yourself as an individual and as part of a couple. Practical advice and spiritual resources will be shared with you that will support a life-long and joyful Catholic marriage. Please give a copy of the Pre-Cana certificate to the priest handling your marriage preparation.
Dispensations:If a couple who desires a Catholic marriage cannot meet any one of Church Law requirements, the couple may have to obtain a dispensation, or exception to the requirements. For instance, if a Catholic wishes to marry a person of another faith, the Catholic must request a dispensation from the local bishop. As part of the request, the Catholic party to such a marriage reaffirms his/her commitment to the Catholic faith and his/her intention to remain in that faith and promises to do what he/she can short of causing harm to the marriage relationship to raise any children of the marriage as members of the Catholic community. The priest who is preparing you for your wedding will determine whether you need any dispensation and, if so, will help you request it. If you need a dispensation, you must obtain the dispensation before your wedding can take place.
If you were married previously, a Declaration of Nullity must be provided at the time of your inquiry in order to demonstrate that you are now free to re-marry in the Catholic Church. This applies to all forms of previous marriage, whether by a judge, by a religious leader in another faith tradition, or common law.
Marriage License: It is your responsibility to obtain the civil license no more than 30 days before your wedding date from the State of Delaware. Please give the marriage license to the Priest or deacon as soon as you obtain it for safekeeping. The parish will submit the license to the State in accordance with State law. A duplicate of the signed document will be given to you after the wedding.
The Wedding Celebration
Wedding Times: Ordinarily there is only one wedding scheduled per weekend: Friday no earlier than 4:00 PM, or Saturday from 10:00 AM to 3:00 PM. Saturday confessions begin at 4:30 PM, so all wedding-related activities are expected to be completed by that time.
Wedding Rehearsal: Arrangements for your wedding rehearsal are made at the time you schedule the date and time of your wedding with the parish priest. Traditionally, the rehearsal takes place one or two evenings before the wedding day. The rehearsal is a time for the priest or deacon to direct you through the processions and liturgy. Naturally, the wedding party should be present, as well as the parents of the bride and groom. The priest presiding at the wedding will orchestrate the rehearsal.
Nuptial Mass or Ceremony: The choice of a Nuptial Mass (Liturgy of the Word and Liturgy of the Eucharist) or a Wedding Ceremony (Liturgy of the Word) is yours. When both bride and groom are Catholic, it is best that they marry during a Nuptial Mass. If either the bride or groom is not a Catholic, the choice may be made to marry outside of a Mass in a Wedding Ceremony. The choice should be made after serious consideration and consultation with the priest or deacon who will preside at your wedding.
Fees: Wedding Fee: The fee for the wedding at the Church is $250 for parishioners and $450 for non-parishioners. Our Church is a beautiful setting for your wedding day, the heart of your faith life, the center for liturgical celebrations and the sacraments. The wedding fee assists in covering the expenses incurred by the parish for your wedding day, maintenance & upkeep of the church building and grounds, heat and air conditioning, and staff time needed to prepare the many aspects of your wedding.
The payment for the cantor, organist and other musicians is separate from the church fee. Payment to Instrumentalists and Cantors is to be made directly to the individual. Please bring these fees to the rehearsal.
Church Environment: Consider the liturgical season of the Church when you are selecting your wedding date. Depending upon your wedding date, the Church environment may be different to suit the liturgical season. For example, October and November are seasons for “harvest” so Fall flowers and rustic colors pre-dominate the environment. In December, the Church celebrates Advent, and the environment is decorated simply with the primary color being purple. There is also an Advent wreath. Christmas decorations appear in Church a few days before Christmas Eve and remain through the Feast of Baptism of the Lord in early January. Lent can begin in early February or March. The season is penitential, and the decorations are minimal, with purple being the predominate color. The Easter season lasts fifty days and decorations reflect the feast with flowers, candles, and other symbols. Existing decorations and liturgical symbols of the season remain in the Church and should be incorporated into the décor of the wedding.
Flowers: In planning your floral arrangements, pleases follow these two guidelines: Keep the focus on the wedding liturgy. The prayers of the Church for your marriage are the key element in your wedding; you don't want to distract from the words and actions of the liturgy with flowers that block the assembly's view or get in the way of people involved in the wedding. Flowers are never placed on the altar or in front of the altar. Flowers, pew bows, vases and containers are the responsibility of the bride and groom through the florist. The florist is responsible for delivery, set-up, and pick-up of all decorations. Please have your florist call the parish office to confirm delivery and set-up times. The traditional white runner down the center aisle can be provided by the florist if you wish, however, use of a white runner is discouraged because they can pose a slipping danger.
Confetti, Rice, Birdseed: We ask that you do not use confetti, rice, birdseed and flower petals as they can create a hazard on the pavement outside of church possibly causing your guests to slip. Thank you for understanding.
Photographs: Please remind your photographer/videographer to retain a sacred presence at your wedding ceremony. We ask that your photographer not be in the sanctuary. She/he is free to take pictures from the body of the church. If you are having pictures taken in the church after the ceremony, please remember another Church event may be scheduled. Please check with the Parish Office for availability.
Worship Aids (Wedding Booklets): A worship aid can assist your guest to participate in your wedding. Since the preparation and printing of a worship aid is the couple’s responsibility, you are asked to coordinate your worship aid with the priest & music minister before printing. It is necessary to secure copyright permission if you include words to hymns. Copyright permissions are easily obtained at www.onelicense.net.
Symbolic Ritual Actions: The Unity Candle or any other symbolic actions representing the joining of the couple in the Sacrament are not part of the Rite of Marriage. The primary ritual action of your wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows and rings. However, the unity candle can be made part of the wedding ceremony by arrangement with the priest or deacon in advance. You must provide your own Unity Candle as well as two small candles and accompanying stands.
A bouquet to the Blessed Mother statue as an expression of love and devotion of a Catholic bride and groom may take place after communion and before the final blessing. It is not common at a mixed marriage, but it can be done is desired by the Catholic bride or groom.